My little boy is five and has never been a big fan of wearing clothes, even when it is freezing outside. As soon as he gets home from school, the first things off are shoes, socks, and usually the pants...not always the shirts or underwear, but it has been known to happen. A few times since he has started kindergarten this year he has been caught (by me or my mom) without the underwear that was laid out for him that morning with all of his other clothes. He did this quite a bit this summer--he loves to change clothes. When he did it this summer, we all laughed and laughed about him "going commando." Which he says as "macando." All cute and funny, right?
However, the first part of November brought some chaos to our lives. My sweet (and favorite) uncle found out that the cancer in his lungs had not all been eradicated by the chemo and radiation. My mother, who also takes care of my munchkins before and after school, had to make many trips back and forth to T-town, so my hubby and I took turns being late for work and taking the kids to school. Can you see where this story is going?
The week previous to Thanksgiving, my uncle was not given much time left, so things were even more chaotic. It's hard to remember things as it is, right? Hubby was being sooooo good about helping with the kids, even saying that he really enjoyed it and would do it on a full-time basis. This was nipped in the bud by me in very short order.
One morning, I woke up Hubby (several, several times--NOT the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed type by any means) and told him the kids' clothes were all laid out on the chair in the living room. I reminded him again what time it was, that the kids needed to eat breakfast, the daughter needed to wear deodorant, etc., etc., etc. I took no chances and made the kids get out of bed before I left. Let's travel forward in time....
When I got home from work, my son was sound asleep at my mom's. The Girl and I made a trip for some boots and came straight back....still asleep. The Girl sat down to finish her homework, and Mom and I visited for awhile about the uncle and the kids, etc. I finally woke my son up because it was after 6:30, and I wanted to go home sooooo badly. It was a Monday, for the love of Pete.
When I woke him up, The Boy's socks were looking kinda floppy.....and I thought that was odd. I assumed he had stripped off his socks because they were wet, or he had thrown them somewhere in the house, so Mom had replaced them with hers? Sister's? Grandpa's? No, No, not so.
The Boy goes flopping through the house with me following, asking What is up with your socks? The Boy laughs and says he doesn't know in that innocent tone of voice that he has down pat (but the look on his face was pure orneriness). So I stopped him and really looked at the things. The Boy had one of my shorty socks on one foot and one of his daddy's shorty socks --which was dang near a knee sock on the boy--on the other foot. I am like, "Bubby, what is going on? Where are the socks Mommy laid out for you? Did Daddy not help you get dressed? All of your clothes were together in the chair. You have the pants and the shirt. The socks and underwear were with them....." And then the 'oh, crap' minute hits me. I realize there could be a very good reason why his pants were hiked way up when he crawled off the couch, even though he said it was because "Lebi" yanked them up real high at recess. Very seriously I ask him, "Bubby, do you have on your underwear?" The Boy answers, "Sure, Momma, look right here." He pulls down the waistband of his jeans, and all I can see is skin-colored underwear. Sigh. I yelled, "Mom! The boy went 'macando' at school today!"
Of course, we have laughed and laughed and completely harassed Hubby for his non-talents as a child-minder. He swears he thought I dressed The Boy because he was already dressed when Hubby finally dragged his arse out of bed. And we all think it's a cute story, but I can't help thinking I might be hearing a knock on the door from Child Services or some such.... I can only imagine what someone who might have met him for the first time that day might have thought about the poor little boy whose parents didn't take the time to put decent socks or any underwear on this boy.
On a side note, The Girl wasn't reminded to put on deodorant.....she takes a long time to wake up and be alert enough to remember things(too much like her daddy?). I don't believe I will be waiting for the Parent of the Year award this year.
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On his very first day of school, my youngest son fell off the monkey bars and bruised his butt. The nurse called me and told me that he had been hurt, and that she looked at his butt, so not to worry that something funny was going on. She said he seemed to be OK, but already had a big bruise.
When we got home, I told him to show me where he got hurt. He said solemnly, "It's OK to show you, and the nurse, but not anybody else." He had quite a bruise.
But the thing that concerned me most was that he was wearing TWO pair of underwear. He had kept on the underwear he slept in, and added the underwear I laid out for him. I can't imagine what the nurse thought about me sending my boy to school in TWO pairs of underwear. The boy said, "Good thing I had extra padding when I fell."
Oh got to love little boys!
These are the stories that you can share with the future daughters in law at the wedding reception etc.
Thanks for the laughs ladies. I needed them, even if they hurt.
Thanks for the laugh indeed, Hillbilly Mom. Unfortuantely, The Boy has done the two pairs thing also, and the monkey bars sorta...the first week of preK, he fell and hit the other end...his hard head. Had a goose egg and no one noticed - not the teacher, the two preK assistants or whoever was on duty. Biggest goose egg I have ever seen. Glad your boy didn't break his butt.
Jennifer, if you need some more laughs, let me know. I can just send you The Boy and The Girl. Barrel of laughs at my house....
I once went to church with no panties on. I was wearing a dress. Not my mom's favorite memory.
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